The Preservative

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Discombobulated

Tired, I get home, unlock the door. Turn on the lights. A murderous row of five freaks await me ready to rumble. Turn off the lights knowing I have a split second to hit the goon on the right with a left jab, flip round to kick the bits of the center bat-bearing oaf. Skull punch the far right freak and gouge the eyes of his neighbor center right, then back over to the left kick, punch, uppercut… he’s out and back to the beginning reach for that ear. Pull. Smack nose up into brain. Back to center. Smash, kick and twist the neck until dead. Three left. Back to right roundhouse to the conservative side, and clutch and yank the neighbor’s throat out. Two left. Pull their heads together: smack. Discombobulated. Again for two more rings. Now turn on the lights see what’s left. They hobble. No mercy. Glance the temple right hard and round over to trip, then bang the neck on the floor crushed. One more. Weave and wobble. Motherfuckers can’t touch me in my house. Grab the leg animal wrench the ankle, feel it crack left. Broken. Stomp twice. Double check. No breath in them but I am steaming and heaving deep. Reset and stretch. Turn of the light. Now what?

A Tribe Intended

Group of people who go back to hunter gatherer ways with books some utopian vision that worked for some time to a point of blessed ignorance on the cusp of succeeding with patriarch/ matriarch seeing dream realizing, but then anthropologist or someone else and/or both on different paths ‘invade’ and a cover up to keep the dream alive. How far do they take it for the future generation before it all falls apart and why and for what?

Just Jay

Red Jay

Blue Jay

Black Jay

Grey Jay

White Jay

Pink Jay

Yellow Jay

Green Jay

Orange Jay

Brown Jay

Purple Jay

Steller’s Jay

No way!

Just Jay (Rainbow version)

And that’s a-ok

The Exchange

German exchange student comes to town and ruins gig of language teacher.

Consequences ensue. Funny at first then turns schwarz.

Set in small US town between the window of when the Berlin Wall fell and when Germany reunited.

The Scorpions’ Wind of Change was popular.

I cannot find this story amusing…

 

B.O.B.

Big Owl Bert

This is not the story of Bob, but rather baby Bob.

 

Carnie book

Carnie Lore: Portraits from a year of dangerous fun: My life on the edge of society

Writer Brett gets famous for writing said non-fiction book, but a lie that gets bigger and real carnies want their just desserts…

Penultimate knife fight described in Brett’s book never happened.

Carnie love and their rituals a sham.

Radio/tv show interview to start off the back story and call-in caller calls out the lies.

Elvis knife throwers in masks: TCB

Eventually leads to movie: Carnivore: the Reckoning

 

Heart attack snacks franchise heir

Struggles over what to do with the legacy of her parents’ food products once enjoyed in the Heartland.
Bacon sticks: ya know like fish sticks but with bacon
Cheesesteak cake: Provolone based cheesecake with chopped steak, onions and peppers baked in. Add Whiz for an extra fifty in Philly.

The great gray pillow forest

In the great gray pillow forest, where all gray matter gatherers go, Jane eats chicken.

Are you aware of capoeira?

Are you aware of capoeira? I’m aware a capoeira. I’m gonna wear my cap now while I do my capoeira, while I do my capoeira. Dance in the streets while I do my capoeira

Are you aware a capoeira? I’m aware of capoeira. I wear my cap while I do my capoeira, while I do my capoeira.

Are you aware of capoeira? I’m aware a capoeira. I’m gonna wear my cap now while I do my capoeira, while I do my capoeira.

Dance to defend myself and my friends. It never ends!

Are you aware a capoeira? I’m aware of capoeira. I’m gonna wear my cap now while I do my capoeira, while I do my capoeira. Dance in the streets while I do my capoeira.